Gnarled

A creaking spinning wheel,

spun by gnarled withered hands,

an old woman's knobby voice,

caressed the dry baked lands

Glowing pink sky, a blushing girl’s setting sun

Now clouds deepen to blue twilight.

While that aged bent voice crooned-

Her hoarse expressions of night, light and right,

Her vigil forever kept.

See the old mountains?

The faded roads?

Newly naked fields cut by a slithering necklace?

I finally know.

My story will end, must end

The ghosts will engage in their dances,

My time will fall, the curtains will close

And there will be a last conclusion to my chances.

I leaned back,

Her fingers glide up my face,

She chuckles her rasping giggle as she dried my eyes

She already knew my fate.

I answered and she smiled

waiting as I struggle to frame my heart.

“Thank you for my life. For every single moment of it.”

After the explosion

The boom from the blast deafened my ears. Blinking bleary eyes at the cloud of dust blooming all around, I tried to see through the rubble. Although the landscape had been rendered utterly unrecognizable in the destruction I still sought to find a point of reference.

Clumsy with bewilderment, I scrambled over the shredded bricks and rocks. Tearing my jeans and staining my hands, I made my directionless way over a setting of confusion.

After several ancient minutes I stopped. Hands on my knees, I tried to catch my breath while coughing on the powdery air.

“Stop. Just stop for a moment.” The welcome friendly breeze brushed my cracked chapped lips, stirring the air for a moment. I sat down and leaned against a piece of a wall propped up behind me.

I thought about my options. The wind caressed my arm and my sight followed her to what she had to show me. She formulated in the air, the outline of a small child throwing sand into the surf. As the their profile turned to look at me, the shape shifted and disappeared. How many times have I almost seen that small face?

She returned to touch my eyes once more before she too disappeared.

I thought about work and I thought about Real estate and school. Then I woke up. In the still darkness of the cool room and poofy comfy bed I answered myself;

“Stay the course. Get the CE classes. Get yourself healthy. Get out of the place you are in when you are able…and not before. Go to school. Find out what you need to do to show that you are healthy. Stay the course. There is too little information to make a rash decision. “

Storms

Summer storms are here. I watch the clouds build and break over a massive canvas that is more than ready for the paint of rain.

For a moment I catch my breath. I hold in the fresh cut taste of lightly washed air.  Flashes of the east, so long left behind, flutter through my hands.  Taking a moment I flipped through my remembered photo album, I touch it with a soft smile. 

The east is a beloved relative that I haven't visited for many a long over due holiday.  I see the green, the fire flies, and I wish I had known that last road trip down the coast was the last until someday.  I wish I had stayed for just a few more moments by the harbour and inhaled the mist from the sea. 

Opening my eyes I exhale the memory.  The over development is burning off already in the blazing white light.  Clouds begin to disappear and open a window to the baking blue behind. I am grateful for my best friend, without him this place would still feel as remote and alien as the moon.  With him, this is home.

Living is a very strange and interesting thing.

Wow...

Wow…

How many ways are there to say wow? Or is that the only way?

Monday was a golden glow of morning sun, kittens in the yard, coffee delivered for a quick visit in the afternoon warmth, opening loot, and drowning in a dinner of sushi………ooo I also did homework which translates that I was drawing…. Such a perfect day! How loved and lucky I am to have my life. I have decided that thirty is awesome.

And I will lose ten pounds to celebrate this too.

Sigh of happiness….

Tuesday…. Tuesday evening we met at a Junior High’s school field just north of where we live. I looked up to the little hill and thought… ok, nerve wracking but I think this is ok, that’s not that far.

Then we drove up a winding dirt road, and we drove and we drove and then we were dropped off at a corner in said road. Far far away sat the now tiny little patch of green. I decided that the green must not have shrunk but must be REALLY far away. Would we make it?? I eyed the houses, roads, hills down below.

This was my first mountain site and we were high enough up for me to be very impressed. I watched the first several take offs carefully, how did they pull up? Did they run long enough?

My take off was fairly clean, the wind was practically nonexistent and each of us glided their “shower curtain” through smooth crisp air to the distant green field without a remote issue or care in the world. I watched the little kids, boys mostly, run up to the pilot landing before me. I skidded slightly on my landing and I hopped up elated to high five my coach and new friends.

Flying is just awesome.

Shiny...

My fortune-hunter, my explorer, my adventurer, my traveler, my husband, and hero;

Has a knack of handing me shiny new hobbies and then taking them away and replacing them with new ones. I offer accompanying squeals that go something like this;

“OOOO! This is my favorite sport- oh no, I don’t want to try something new- OOOO, no wait! This is my favorite hobby-OOOO! This is my favorite Toy!“

And so on. First it was diving into a lukewarm, swimming pool and choking on chlorinated water to claw my frightened self to the three feet away surface. Then came my very lovely pink leather jacket for his shiny scary fast bike. Then it was our adorable little house in dire need of love and paint. Then it was the most romantic wedding anyone has ever had followed by the most astonishing honeymoon (which included dolphins) thought up.

At the beginning of this year he piled us and gear into the car and drove us up the mountains to coach me on my utter lack of skiing knowledge. Although I continued to frantically hyperventilate in panic at the super steep slopes, I actually improved and fell madly in love.

About two weeks after that he had me on the side of a hill with a gargantuan kite flopped over behind me while snowflakes settled into the brown, wet and despairingly un-pretty landscape. Borderline freaked out and trying not to throw up on the surrounding dead sodden weeds, I charged forward to pull it up behind me and float a grand five to ten feet in the air. Fast forward about four months later and presently I am becoming excellent friends with my own 'kite' Perry, also called a 'Wing' by the cool kids and I am rated a novice P2 pilot.

Have I mentioned that I live an exceptionally blessed and spoiled life? Have I mentioned that I owe a significant amount of this blessed life to my dear husband? I don’t think I have. I worry beyond worrying about what I would do without him. I worry that I haven’t paid my equal share for this life I am afforded. I need to quit worrying and bask in the sunshine of my life. There will be storms a plenty some day but right now these are my days of gentle seas and safe harbors.

Did it!

My husband leaned slightly forward in the triangle; testing his nerves. The air had evened and steadied and I felt myself steady with it. The light was turning golden as evening set in and the heat of the day abated with the less direct waves of summer light.

I closed my eyes and unheard I whispered “You’ve got this.”

The words were to him, they echoed back to me.

He took off; the nose of his glider dipped slightly down and then he soared above.

I watched fascinated by his bravery of overcoming what he has been so wary of. Fearing something that you know is relatively safe and known is a terrible thing. In fact this type of fear is the most awful type of fear to overcome yet I know it can be done. There are many things I have feared that may be silly but once upon a time that fear was given a nearly unshakable foundation; a hold in my mind, emotions, soul and body.

I said the words louder, “You’ve got this.” A bystander gave me a puzzled look; I smiled back and hurried to my gear.

I asked other pilots their thoughts and found reassurance. Then I kited my wing up to see mine. I pre-flight checked three times. The air was steady, the wind was even; I turned, torpedoed for the edge and took off.

The elation is indescribable. I could taste it in my dry mouth; I couldn’t swallow because of the nerdy grin I wore.

It is the most wonderful thing to surprise ones’ self. There isn’t a better feeling in the world.

I have also never been so aware of myself. I paid attention to my turns, the surges, the thermals, the feeling of my lines cutting into my hands and the cooling angle of the sun. I sang to myself and swung my feet a little as my guy and I called out hello on passes.

As others looked to be sinking out, I turned and checked my altitude, I looked at the empty landing zone. I watched my sweetheart’s landing and decided it was my turn. It took several deep breaths and two more turns for all to agree:  I was the proper distance, I had the needed height. In the back ground I heard myself hyperventilating as the rest of me focused. I calmly did a figure eight and turned in. I coasted softly, I turned lightly, bleeding off speed and I perfectly flared to tip toe myself on to the ground.

I stood frozen in silly wonderful awe as my glider, puzzled at my sudden lack of input, collapsed in the weeds behind me. The noise woke me up and I gave little squeak with an accompanying hop.

I did it! I, Chicken Little, blond empowered with “Rock Star” nail polish, purple highlights and eye liner, I did it! Hooray!

My best friend was there and we gave each other grinning hugs.

I love a good dream...

Once upon a dream…

Down a twisting hole the girl fell. Dark brunette hair tousled around her eyes as she waved her hands in front of her face, as if trying to part the dark. Slowly she began to see glowing plants around her, lining and lighting the narrow walls. The rate of her descent slowed until she felt herself drifting to an upright position. Soon she landed on her toes to come to find herself gently standing on a damp floor. She shivered in her bare footed and lightly dressed self.

“Oh my Dear!” a voice called.

She turned to find an elderly lady with grey eyes, grey hair and white mushroom skin hurrying to greet her. The lady paused with her hand over her breast to catch her breath before exclaiming “Oh! Oh my goodness but you aren’t the right girl!”

Confusion now mixed with confused dismay “I am not the right girl?” The lovely young woman repeated.

The old lady placed a squishy colorless hand on a slender young hand nearest hers, “No worries my dear! No worries at all. I feel that this shall work out just right. What was your name?”

Troubled and slightly lost, the young creature answered “Ethne.”

“Ethne I am Lady Grey. Let us warm your toes up with socks and tea.”

Lady Grey raised her hand and a glowing butterfly landed on her hand to act as a torch to guide them through musty halls. Ornate carvings lined the bulwark and engraved and growing ivy offered shimmering soft light for additional sight. The two came to a room lit with a roaring white blue fire and Lady Grey made tea as Ethne rolled on a pair of toasty bright red and orange socks.

Once settled they both agreed that Ethne was not the right girl for her son, the Wandering King of the Underground Hall but she might be the right person to bring him Back. They hoped he might hear of her arrival and he would come back to find out who she was. Upon his return they would convince him to stay. In the meantime her fiancé, the King of the Sky would surely be looking for her.