Edgy today. This is a day of where I have nothing but disjointed thoughts and I move together with myself as a disjointed body would; a stumbling awkward kind of walk through a vague kind of day.
A change is coming so Huge that I can not grasp it. I am excited for it. Happy for it. And completely terrified.
I know everything is about to change and to be the same.
I have a few questions about this too. How will I define myself after this? How will he? How will my dreams, my thoughts change?
Luckily Sally won’t see a difference. I can count of her to not notice or bugger me about it. Charlie is likely included in that boat.
Will I know his passwords and will he know mine? Not just the passwords on technical things but the passwords to a bike lock or a high school locker’s combination.
Will he see me as he did and as he does? Wait, I retract that line of questions and would rather start with: How does he see me?
AND I AM OLD Reader. Not with loads of wrinkles or gray hairs but old as in I should know I am older. I sat in the shower last night and scowled at my feet. They are older too; more slender and definitely fat somehow. I couldn’t tell you what they were three years ago but I know what they are now.
On an up note; my hands are still young. The wrists are just beginning to show signs of time but my hands have not betrayed me noticeably just yet.
However…my elbows have gone to the pig pen. Soft and potato like. I will keep them though.
Last my hair… I know I dyed it dark brown a couple of years ago and MURDERED it. But… well I thought that by now it would not be so unhappy still. Don’t get me wrong. My hair is a valiant soul and looks quite pretty but it is still a little dried out…
Last, do dragonflies know that they are going to grow old too? Do dogs and cats and trees?
And so go the thoughts in my head today.
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