Fall

Fall is here.

I couldn't sleep. My eyes burned and I went to bed early but couldn't sleep. The air from the window fan was hot, my pillow was a sack of potatoes, the air was too cool and I could not -could not -sleep.

I tried counting, then the breathing thing, then the counting again. I switched positions over and over. I chased after sleep like a kid after a runaway kite’s fluttering tail. I was so close so many times!

I moved my pillows back around again.

By this point I had the bed all to myself.

Exhausted and breathless I listened to the window fan. The air hummed soft, then louder, then soft. A storm finishing it’s day long build to at last break. I couldn’t stand it. It echoed my need to rest. I shut the windows and turned on the air conditioning.

I listened and listened and then I had a terrible dream.
I had taken all the other roads since The Road Trip. I had taken them and things were a mess. I had listened to my head and not to my dreams. I had kept that job, I had finished college, I had given that friend more time, I dated that person longer…

-A Mess! -A terrible upside down Mess. Everything was all wrong and unhappy. I raced around in the dream telling everyone that this was all a mistake and they looked at me like I was crazy (Which I guess, isn’t that unusual anyway). I hurried to Utah to get to the rocks and dust and dry air. But things were a mess here too!
Lightening snapped through the blinds, thunder growled and I sat up in bed. 2:58am…. Whew. If it had been three I would have been toast.

I listened to the next biting snarl outside. The night was cool now and we opened the windows. The rain began. I wasn’t alone.

The pillows were still full of potatoes but the bedroom was cool and the blankets warm. I slept lightly but at least it was sleep.

This morning I wore closed shoes and carried my hot pink and yellow umbrella to work.

Fall is here.