Postpartum....
Ladies and Gents I am here to be real about what it meant to have a kiddo. Every single set of parents will have a different story, a different take. Their moments may be so individual they have nothing in common with your moments.
ANNNNNDDDD get this....
Individually parents can and will watch and share in the same exact moment and then both may come away seeing, hearing and remembering it differently then the other.
Crazy huh?
Some pregnancies are harder and some are easier.
Also, some labors are harder, some are easier -
BUT ALL LABOR is hard. So if you are the train that says, 'Gosh, wow, that was life changing and hard!' or the if you are the wreck, 'Holy SMOKES THAT WAS AWFUL', know you are not alone!
Throughout my pregnancy I skied, hiked, power walked, camped. My legs were toned, my belly gigantic, my arms strong, my hair flowed thick and beautifully. My body baked, without conscious effort (outside of my efforts to stay fit and eat well), this tiny perfect human.
Then labor happened.
First seven hours felt like my body and I had joined hands. The contractions came, I breathed, letting out the ache, my body pushing me on.
Then, at 7pm and dialated to 6 1/2, we decided to break my water,
"This may speed up your labor..." the doctor cautioned....
Ya think?
At 9:30p I was at a 9 1/2 and could not catch my breath. My body was running the show. I hung on for dear life. The urge to push was the most unspeakably painful thing.
Turns out I was a bit of a snug fit 'down there'. I cried uncle and thanked modern medicine for drugs as scary shiny long 'scissors' came out.
THREE Hours of pushing later, they hand over a little bitty dark eyed wonder,
I went to sit up a bit to cuddle her close and kinda froze on the inside....
Uh... whose body is this?
For several weeks, my body was a stranger. This is weird. I attempted to rest and heal but as my soft body grew ever more squishy I became a more bewildered...
I am thirty six years old my friends. I know me. I love to be active and my life is fantastic. I tend to be lighthearted, even when maybe I should be more serious... I LOVE mornings and espresso coffee. I have a dark chocolate and pomegranate addiction, eggs and apples are my favorite 'get-full-quick' fix.
Nothing felt or tasted right.
In the hours, days and weeks that followed, I was forlorn and so very tired. My legs ached going upstairs, my left leg and foot were forever falling asleep, (tore my piriformis muscle, very common, feels like the worst sciatic pain ever)....
My hair was still pretty awesome and my skin smooth and pretty but I was so DAMN WEAK; physically, mentally, emotionally. I felt like glass, a semi- sharp word could slice me open and I would bleed about it for days.
Then in one afternoon, I was me again and me was I and clearer... a muddled a description, I know, I know.
It was in the third month. On a cold snowy Tuesday afternoon, I literally felt my body sigh and relax. My hair started to thin to normal in the morning shower. The night before my dreams reappeared (oh how I'd missed dreaming!).
I'm sure there are scientific reasons for the fog lifting but I attribute it to the moment I stumbled across some very candid photos my sweetheart had taken in those first raw tender moments... I had not seen them before.
I clicked through them, studying my face and his....
Whoa.... parents you know. You know all the tepid words that try to relate those expressions.
My summary, (so far), Momma's trust yourself. Trust yourself over any relative's well meaning, or not well meaning, words. Your baby is your baby. You know what your baby needs.
Be kind to you and your partner.
This will pass in a blink. Cherish it, shrug off any eky moments.
Be gentle with yourself.
Sleep when you can. If you can't, stop and rest. Many times I couldn't sleep. Still felt good to lay down for a few minutes and rest.
Becoming a Mommy has eliminated any verbal filter I had before. So... just sayn', be cautious, I will answer and say exactly what I am thinking.
Oh and every morning nap, car ride and day is different.
For example; Yesterday, she slept most of the night. Which means I showered and dressed before she got up. In Fact - I'd packed my hubby's work snacks, started laundry, did the dishes and sat down to look at a position I applied to a month ago BEFORE he got up.
Uh huh, oh yeah, that was me.
Flip that coin and there was today...... three outfits for her and two for me later....
And here I am. I finally have gotten her down to nap by nursing her to sleep (I know, I know, self soothing is a better way to get them to sleep) and instead of hurrying off to brush my teeth, I hold her. I hold and hold and hold her.... because she is precious and beautiful and for this very short time I can hold her and hold her and hold her...
Ladies and Gents I am here to be real about what it meant to have a kiddo. Every single set of parents will have a different story, a different take. Their moments may be so individual they have nothing in common with your moments.
ANNNNNDDDD get this....
Individually parents can and will watch and share in the same exact moment and then both may come away seeing, hearing and remembering it differently then the other.
Crazy huh?
Some pregnancies are harder and some are easier.
Also, some labors are harder, some are easier -
BUT ALL LABOR is hard. So if you are the train that says, 'Gosh, wow, that was life changing and hard!' or the if you are the wreck, 'Holy SMOKES THAT WAS AWFUL', know you are not alone!
Throughout my pregnancy I skied, hiked, power walked, camped. My legs were toned, my belly gigantic, my arms strong, my hair flowed thick and beautifully. My body baked, without conscious effort (outside of my efforts to stay fit and eat well), this tiny perfect human.
Then labor happened.
First seven hours felt like my body and I had joined hands. The contractions came, I breathed, letting out the ache, my body pushing me on.
Then, at 7pm and dialated to 6 1/2, we decided to break my water,
"This may speed up your labor..." the doctor cautioned....
Ya think?
At 9:30p I was at a 9 1/2 and could not catch my breath. My body was running the show. I hung on for dear life. The urge to push was the most unspeakably painful thing.
Turns out I was a bit of a snug fit 'down there'. I cried uncle and thanked modern medicine for drugs as scary shiny long 'scissors' came out.
THREE Hours of pushing later, they hand over a little bitty dark eyed wonder,
I went to sit up a bit to cuddle her close and kinda froze on the inside....
Uh... whose body is this?
For several weeks, my body was a stranger. This is weird. I attempted to rest and heal but as my soft body grew ever more squishy I became a more bewildered...
I am thirty six years old my friends. I know me. I love to be active and my life is fantastic. I tend to be lighthearted, even when maybe I should be more serious... I LOVE mornings and espresso coffee. I have a dark chocolate and pomegranate addiction, eggs and apples are my favorite 'get-full-quick' fix.
Nothing felt or tasted right.
In the hours, days and weeks that followed, I was forlorn and so very tired. My legs ached going upstairs, my left leg and foot were forever falling asleep, (tore my piriformis muscle, very common, feels like the worst sciatic pain ever)....
My hair was still pretty awesome and my skin smooth and pretty but I was so DAMN WEAK; physically, mentally, emotionally. I felt like glass, a semi- sharp word could slice me open and I would bleed about it for days.
Then in one afternoon, I was me again and me was I and clearer... a muddled a description, I know, I know.
It was in the third month. On a cold snowy Tuesday afternoon, I literally felt my body sigh and relax. My hair started to thin to normal in the morning shower. The night before my dreams reappeared (oh how I'd missed dreaming!).
I'm sure there are scientific reasons for the fog lifting but I attribute it to the moment I stumbled across some very candid photos my sweetheart had taken in those first raw tender moments... I had not seen them before.
I clicked through them, studying my face and his....
Whoa.... parents you know. You know all the tepid words that try to relate those expressions.
My summary, (so far), Momma's trust yourself. Trust yourself over any relative's well meaning, or not well meaning, words. Your baby is your baby. You know what your baby needs.
Be kind to you and your partner.
This will pass in a blink. Cherish it, shrug off any eky moments.
Be gentle with yourself.
Sleep when you can. If you can't, stop and rest. Many times I couldn't sleep. Still felt good to lay down for a few minutes and rest.
Becoming a Mommy has eliminated any verbal filter I had before. So... just sayn', be cautious, I will answer and say exactly what I am thinking.
Oh and every morning nap, car ride and day is different.
For example; Yesterday, she slept most of the night. Which means I showered and dressed before she got up. In Fact - I'd packed my hubby's work snacks, started laundry, did the dishes and sat down to look at a position I applied to a month ago BEFORE he got up.
Uh huh, oh yeah, that was me.
Flip that coin and there was today...... three outfits for her and two for me later....
And here I am. I finally have gotten her down to nap by nursing her to sleep (I know, I know, self soothing is a better way to get them to sleep) and instead of hurrying off to brush my teeth, I hold her. I hold and hold and hold her.... because she is precious and beautiful and for this very short time I can hold her and hold her and hold her...
