Gah...
Another one...
Resigned I settled into watch the stupid dream unfold - when I hear the muffled sound of a chair dragged across carpet.
I look next to me, to see a chair drawn up and - startled, I exclaim, "Grandma!"
She beams at me from behind her glasses and happily I sit down in the offered chair. She sits down across from me. We are at her kitchen table. There are violets and little random metal figurines on the window sill and fresh coffee on the table.
I take a nice deep reset breath in her house of fabric, books, teddy bears and time. It is such a relief to be here. This place that didn't change, that always was.
I swallow my silly salty reaction and for a distraction, I move to sit side ways and study the many dusty framed cross stitches covering the wall behind me.
She pats my hand, giving me a few minutes as she goes to rescue oatmeal cookies. Returning, she brings mugs for the coffee and cookies for comfort.
Here is the thing about my mother's mother. Although Grandma was a spitfire; a sassy opinionated bird of a woman, she never tried to tell me what to do or to think.
She never meddled. At least with me. Maybe, because just like her, there is nothing that will enrage me quicker than someone telling me what to believe, what I should or shouldn't do. I have more than a bit of her sharp temper and stubborn independence.
Like her I love fiercely, I make up my own rules and ignore convention.
Here is the thing about my mother's mother. Although Grandma was a spitfire; a sassy opinionated bird of a woman, she never tried to tell me what to do or to think.
She never meddled. At least with me. Maybe, because just like her, there is nothing that will enrage me quicker than someone telling me what to believe, what I should or shouldn't do. I have more than a bit of her sharp temper and stubborn independence.
Like her I love fiercely, I make up my own rules and ignore convention.
I tell her all about it. About it all. Twelve months ago in August to today and she listens. Such a gorgeous and confusing year; Banff, skiing Christmas (and all winter long), People in it, Work, Work, Work,Yellowstone, camping...
At certain points she 'tsks' in sympathy, at others I flinch away from her glowering disapproval, and at the exact right times, she smiles and claps - she is the perfect audience.
At certain points she 'tsks' in sympathy, at others I flinch away from her glowering disapproval, and at the exact right times, she smiles and claps - she is the perfect audience.
I get down to telling the last little bit of the pickle I feel/ think/ believe/ image I am in.
As I surmise my tale, she nods seriously, but I catch her mischievous side ways glance; the solution is obvious to her....the pause extends as she sighs to herself and looks out the window.
I become exasperated and I counter her sigh with a fidgety movement that catches her attention and give her an eyebrow raised and her smiles widens.
I become exasperated and I counter her sigh with a fidgety movement that catches her attention and give her an eyebrow raised and her smiles widens.
She shrugs, looks up and smiles reassuringly at me, "There is nothing wrong with more than one Grandma in the house."
........................
....................................
................................................oh.
................................................oh.
Slowly my eyes smile too and in a moment I am grinning back at her, "Oh!"
She smiled again, patting my hand,
"Get up and go to work today, ignore the fuss. You love that man, you went looking for him and you two choose each other over everyone else. Ignore his occasional misinterpretations. Respect his fears."
Dishes clanked as she stacked them together and continued, "When you get tired today, come home, sit down and read a book. Help that impatient and restless girl stay put. She needs to bake a bit longer. It isn't easy for her to be still, just as it isn't easy for you and your sweetheart. "
Dishes clanked as she stacked them together and continued, "When you get tired today, come home, sit down and read a book. Help that impatient and restless girl stay put. She needs to bake a bit longer. It isn't easy for her to be still, just as it isn't easy for you and your sweetheart. "
She stood and took my empty mug and went to her kitchen. She leaned down to see me through the hanging tiny creations cluttering her view, "One more thing."
I paused, I had stood up to bring in the plate of cookies, "Yes?" - but at the same time, I looked down to see the alarm on my phone going off and woke up.
