Graham crackers

The baby woke up as the husband left to go rock climbing. I went upstairs to try to rock her back to sleep. The toddler crept in quietly, and then spit graham cracker all over the baby's face.

Thankfully she ran away. She ran away to her room. So I just shut the door behind her. Then I went to our room to clean us up in our bathroom and to cool off.

All days include their ups and downs. I know I don't feel good, I know I'm extremely tired... But I feel like I failed all day today.

Isn't that silly? Failed at what? Parenting? Does anyone win at parenting? We did projects, we read books, we sang songs. I promised myself I would shower today, and I probably still will. So failed at what?

I'm really not sure.

I cooled down and we all did bedtime books and songs. "Book time"... Tiny baby girl fights to eat the book, eat me through my shirt and the exasperated toddler grits her teeth over crumbled pages and tries push the baby off her side of my lap to get more space.

I give them all I can and I understand it's all right, that in their books, it is not enough. Most of the time I know this and I move on. Sometimes I know this and I am sorry for them.

Then there's me. When do I get a minute? Soon enough I know. Maybe a few more years yet but time for myself to walk my dog, drink a hot cup of coffee and take regular showers will be here soon enough.

Motherhood is weird. It's amazing, lonely, inspiring and full of tears over odd things...

Like laundry, grainy apples and Graham crackers.