Haunted

While in Mexico, a few months ago, I found a tiny fragile sea dollar... a breath could crush the translucent designs found bleached into its side. It hung softly to the top of the salty water, surrounded by broken and ragged beached brain corals and sharp rocks.

I could not hardly breathe when I found it. I am not one to pick up shells very often. But this one was part of my hands when I raised it with shaking wondrous fingers to my eyes. I could feel the well wishes from the giver of this jewel.

I left it in the door of the car on the way to get it something to rest in…

And there it broke. Perhaps it was the heat in the car or maybe it was when I opened and shut the car door, but how ever the ending happened, it happened.

It is that dreadful feeling that I felt afterwards. I felt clumsy, careless and awkward. It was a crime, just as if you were given a gift with love and thought and in exchange you spat on it, stomped on it, threw it into the street as the giver watched in dismay.

There are a few things that I am ashamed of… and this is one of them. It haunts me and sits on a shelf in my mind, with a handful of other things. They don’t taunt and say anything. But they are there and I am uneasy with how to put it to rest.