Every time I move to step forward, I remember the gum stuck to my shoe. It's all melted and eky and full of little bitty rocks and things so I don't want to touch it. I have looked around for a nearby stick or something like a stick to unstick me... but no dice.
And it's not really something I can ask a passing person for assistance with...Putting my clean art brush down, again, I twirl a journal bursting with white blank pages in my hands.
While stuck this last month (plus), for distraction from my immobility, I am watching everyone, everything, including me. I watch it all. My inner six year old loves this game; I re-analyze prior conversations, comparing them to current actions and then making short term predictions.
And then there is my best friend. No matter how many times I think I understand him, I think I have figured him out - I am startled again by his seemingly unshakable and limitless capacity.
Take this example; The ever present expanding elephant. This thing has dominated many aspects of our lives and, in this last year, increasingly intrudes on my time and 'our' time, both of which I am always in short supply of and jealous of sharing. I watch me slowly become resentful. I am tired of talking about it, helping it, feeding it; I am sick of watching over it. Now at three years -for me this is three years- Yes, I still go through the motions, but I offer only short explanations and abrupt replies.... And even though I chide myself and place my tongue literally between my teeth to prevent my inner monologue from verbalizing... I am still thinking impatient thoughts.
Sigh.
But not him. I am watching. How he handles it! Aptly, deftly, thoughtfully and maturely -even when exasperated!
So.... to make up for the inadequacy that is my own maturity level, I did not make healthy, low carb meals. I made him his beloved waffles on Sunday, homemade vanilla blueberry pancakes on Monday and a cheesy alfredo pasta for dinner last night (although I did add broccoli).
Because that is what relationships are all about. Sometimes you are the rock star and sometimes you are the entourage....
In my case, sometimes is often. But that's ok, I have a lifetime back stage pass.
Also if you happen to see a stick nearby, could you kick it over? This paint/ writing/ drawing block has lasted long enough.
And it's not really something I can ask a passing person for assistance with...Putting my clean art brush down, again, I twirl a journal bursting with white blank pages in my hands.
While stuck this last month (plus), for distraction from my immobility, I am watching everyone, everything, including me. I watch it all. My inner six year old loves this game; I re-analyze prior conversations, comparing them to current actions and then making short term predictions.
And then there is my best friend. No matter how many times I think I understand him, I think I have figured him out - I am startled again by his seemingly unshakable and limitless capacity.
Take this example; The ever present expanding elephant. This thing has dominated many aspects of our lives and, in this last year, increasingly intrudes on my time and 'our' time, both of which I am always in short supply of and jealous of sharing. I watch me slowly become resentful. I am tired of talking about it, helping it, feeding it; I am sick of watching over it. Now at three years -for me this is three years- Yes, I still go through the motions, but I offer only short explanations and abrupt replies.... And even though I chide myself and place my tongue literally between my teeth to prevent my inner monologue from verbalizing... I am still thinking impatient thoughts.
Sigh.
But not him. I am watching. How he handles it! Aptly, deftly, thoughtfully and maturely -even when exasperated!
So.... to make up for the inadequacy that is my own maturity level, I did not make healthy, low carb meals. I made him his beloved waffles on Sunday, homemade vanilla blueberry pancakes on Monday and a cheesy alfredo pasta for dinner last night (although I did add broccoli).
Because that is what relationships are all about. Sometimes you are the rock star and sometimes you are the entourage....
In my case, sometimes is often. But that's ok, I have a lifetime back stage pass.
Also if you happen to see a stick nearby, could you kick it over? This paint/ writing/ drawing block has lasted long enough.
